What’s an “Elephant Whisperer”?

**Contributed by Deeper Funner’s own Elephant Whisperer, Karen Dawson

Comedian Jim Gaffigan grabs audience members in the middle of his stand-up routines by saying in a stage whisper what they are likely to be thinking: “Does he really eat that much bacon?” If Gaffigan saw someone reading my business card, he might whisper on their behalf, “Why on earth would she choose Elephant Whisperer as her job title?”

Here’s the deal: I love delicious metaphors. I know I’ve found a super-dooper-delicious one when it sticks immediately and helps me think differently about things I experience every single day. Jonathan Haidt’s metaphor of the rider and the elephant has stuck for good.

We all have an elephant

Haidt’s metaphor explains why things that shouldn’t be hard for us, actually are: being calm when a colleague disagrees, speaking up when our boss has broken a company value, saying a firm no to triple layer fudge cake after a huge dinner.

In The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt explains that the mind is divided in many ways. The one division that really seems to matter (professionally and personally) is between our rational and emotional systems. Haidt invites us to imagine these two systems as a rider on the back of an elephant.

The reasoned, analytical rider thinks they’re in charge. I don’t know about you, but I see myself as generally wise, sensible, and rational. My rider plans, strategizes, and tackles problems with gusto. If I want to lead a healthier, fitter lifestyle, my rider knows: no pain no gain, baby. The plan is obvious: Eat less, exercise more, drink plenty of water and less wine. Easy peasy and perfectly sensible. Until my fab friend Connie offers me one more glass of spicy Malbec and a big chunk of caramel sea salt chocolate. And then my alarm goes off at 5:45 am because the plan is to go to the gym. Snooze button. Again. And again. So much for the brilliant plan.

The elephant is the power pack

Why do we seem to get in our own way so often? Here’s the gig: it’s not the planful rider, but the emotional system of the elephant, that is the power pack when it’s time to invest energy and effort in any endeavor. If our elephant really doesn’t want to do something, we are seriously hooped. Loving life to feel easy and fun, avoiding what’s uncomfortable, eating lots of sugar (and French Fries), staying away from pain – all of this is elephant business. Our elephant runs the show.

Chip and Dan Heath love Haidt’s metaphor so much they wrote a whole book about it. From Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard:

Most of us are all too familiar with situations in which our Elephant overpowers our Rider.  You’ve experienced this if you’ve ever slept in, overeaten, dialed up your ex at midnight, procrastinated, tried to quit smoking and failed, skipped the gym, gotten angry and said something you regretted, abandoned your Spanish or piano lessons, refused to speak up in a meeting because you were scared…”

Most of us are all too familiar with situations in which our Elephant overpowers our Rider.  You’ve experienced this if you’ve ever slept in, overeaten, dialed up your ex at midnight, procrastinated, tried to quit smoking and failed, skipped the gym, gotten angry and said something you regretted, abandoned your Spanish or piano lessons, refused to speak up in a meeting because you were scared…”

Our elephants are wired for safety

How did your elephant learn these tricks? In good faith. Our elephant grows up as we do, influenced by our DNA, family upbringing, quirky relatives, birth order, culture of origin, childhood successes and failures. All of this runs in the background as we navigate life.

Our elephants are wired for safety – and they throw their weight around when they feel vulnerable. Elephants don’t like to step into conflict, hurt someone’s feelings, appear incompetent, look foolish, feel confused, make a mistake, fail – all of this smells like pure danger.

Change is the mother of all elephant disruptors

So what does this have to do with organizational change? Change is the mother of all elephant disruptors.

In a change effort, our rider is a rational, sensible planner: “I know I should speak up in this meeting because we can’t move forward until I do” and “I must confront my colleague on his behavior because it’s impacting our relationships with key stakeholders” and “it is time to reimagine how our meetings are designed because they’re not getting us where we need to be.”

But the elephant gets antsy, often charging off in the extreme opposite direction. Terrified of feeling uncomfortable or uncertain, our elephant trembles: What if people roll their eyeballs and make fun of me in the meeting? What if the conversation goes haywire and my colleague seeks revenge? What if I look like an idiot when we play the icebreaker to start our next team meeting?

Embracing change in an elephant-friendly way

At Deeper Funner, we’re ridiculously interested in the connections between all of this and why traditional approaches to change don’t work. We’ve been taking a close look at this question for years. We think we are on to something.

Our elephants don’t like being told what to do. They have a severe allergy to being managed. It’s even bigger than that: the ambiguity makes them uncomfortable. The unknown, when things are shifting fast, creates tremendous stress on elephants – especially when they feel like they don’t have a voice.  Traditional approaches to managing change simply aren’t elephant-friendly.

There is a lot to gain from approaching change in an elephant-friendly way. What might that look like? Elephants long to feel heard, valued, and smart. They want to understand how they can contribute and make a difference, so we work with the structures and mindsets that invite those behaviors. What does it look like to have each other’s backs, to radically collaborate, in service of a shared goal? This lets everyone play big, take risks, and step into the unknown with curiosity. When that is happening, you’ve created a change accelerator.

Putting all 6 tons behind the change

At DFC, we know that when senior leaders understand elephant business, they can play a whole new ballgame around creating change. This means understanding their own elephants too. This requires the courage to think about leadership differently, and (with support) learn like crazy to show up in a new way. All of this is possible.

I chose elephant whisperer as my title because helping leaders and their teams understand and engage their elephants – with deep appreciation for what makes them tick – puts all 6 tons behind whatever needs changing. This “elephant business” sits at the center of our work, and I love it. It’s where creating deeper funner change begins.